...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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