you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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