Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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