omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
