remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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