Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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