this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
