Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
