Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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