I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
