mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Couch. On fire.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
