It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
