I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
