I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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