just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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