id be glad to
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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