Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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