Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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