i permit you to call me
I want to have your abortion
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
