i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
