I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
