Betty ford says i'm here all night
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
