Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
