On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
