oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
only you would photoshop your dick
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Randomize
