Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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