I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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