Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
