Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
