No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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