She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
