So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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