Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize