my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
