im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
