We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he fucked my hip out of place.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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