So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
