Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize