just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize