So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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