either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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