How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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