how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
