Got a toothbrush?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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