me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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