so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
