For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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