last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
