Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
