I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
