In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
