I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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