you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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