Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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