Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
