I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
