Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
