just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
