It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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