The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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