i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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