I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize