singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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