as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
