I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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