I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
