i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
