He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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