the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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