Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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